Friday, June 30, 2006

Tall Ship Cuauhtemoc

OK, I'm still in hiding but I've come out of hiding today just to show you a recent visitor to Melbourne. She's come all the way from the other side of the world and I had to go see her!
Its the tall ship Cuauhtemoc from the Mexican Navy and its making a stopover here in Melbourne for 5 days before resuming its journey to Sydney on Sunday morning.

ARM Cuauhtemoc is named after the last Aztec Emperor who was killed by Hernan Cortés during the Spanish invasion of Central America leading to the end of the Aztec Empire.

The ship has come all the way from Mexico, stopping at a few ports in South America, eventually crossing the Atlantic Ocean to South Africa and now Australia. The first port of call was Fremantle in Western Australia before arriving in Melbourne.

The ship is free for everyone to come aboard to check it out. The friendly crew are more than happy to talk and show you around but unfortunately we met a crew member who couldn't speak English and my Spanish was just as bad!

It was a thrill onboard the Cuauhtemoc, its not a modern warship but it was more a friendly world tour by the Mexican Navy. They do have guns onboard the ship but not loaded, they wouldn't need to I supposed.

This is the rudder of the ship. How I wish I could steer the ship out into the bay for a few spins! More like crashing the ship into another ship. Watch out! Foochow steering the ship! place to hangout, the kitchen! They were preparing food when we were there and this kitchenhand was too happy to camwhore for me. Gracias Señor!

OK...thanks for reading, I'm going back into hiding again. Till next time, you didn't see me...

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Deep Deep Undercover

This post is for Unker since he likes clouds and sky and water and natures...

Here's some dark gloomy winter sky for you to you feel poetic now? Hehe.

I'm going into hiding for a while...if anyone ask you where I am, just say you don't know! I'll pop up here and there every now and then but I need to go deep deep undercover coz people's after me...

If you really really have to contact me, you can leave a comment or email me at

I've got this feeling, somebody's watching me...

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Parliament House Open Day

Sunday the 25th June 2006 marks the 150th anniversary of the Parliament of the state of Victoria. The Parliament officially opened as the seat of democracy exactly 150 years ago today.

To celebrate this 150th anniversary the Parliament welcomes all to come and walk the corridors of power and view the historic chambers of the Legislative Assembly and Legislative Council.

This is a rare opportunity which I did not intend to miss out on. The queue was long but the crowd was moving along quite quickly. Everyone had to undergo a security check before entering!

Entry is free, its all paid for by the tax payers aka you and I! Once they are satisfied you are not a threat all visitors enter through this front entrance leading into the Vestibule which is the main entrance Hall to Parliament House.

This is the Vestibule or the entrance Hall of the Parliament. Here you get your brochures and guides and a little map showing you how to find your ways around the Parliament House. From here we move into...

...the Queen's Hall named in honour of Queen Victoria. The Hall provides a venue for ceremonial occasions, official receptions and dinners as well as exhibitions and displays. You can check out the portraits of past Premiers on both sides of the walls.

Moving from the Queen's Hall, we walk through a corridor leading into the Chamber of Legislative Assembly. This is where important parliamentary proceedings take place. Today its taken over by the mob!

From the Legislative Assembly Chamber we moved past the Dining Rooms and out the back into the Gardens of Parliament House where there's a bowling green as well as a tennis court. Man those politicians sure know how to enjoy during work!

We make our way back from the gardens and into the Parliamentary Library filled from the ceiling to the floor tons of boring law books! The library actually consists of 3 main rooms; the Central Reading Room and 2 smaller rooms refered to as the North and South Libraries.

An impressive feature of the Central Reading Room is the chandelier which drops down from the magnificent dome made of brass and 2,000 pieces of crystal. Good to know my tax dollars putting to good use!

Next we move onto the Chamber of Legislative Council which has a grander finish than the Legislative Assembly Chamber with its large freemasons columns and Roman Corinthian style architecture.

It also has a magnificent ceiling that got me inspired with awe! It boasts Hannover eagles, Tudor roses and delicate sculptures of symbolic a lot of hours of menial paintings!

Well thats the main level done so we'll walk up the marble stairs to the 2nd level to check out the Legislative Council Committee Room and other Parliamentary Committees displays.

This is the Legislative Council Committee Room where committees are formed to investigate and report on matters on behalf of Parliament. Too hard for my small brain, lets get out of here!

We are going to the basement level where some of the ministers have their offices but along the way we get to view the Vestibule and the Queen's Hall from an elevated angle showing the grandeur architectures.

Walking down the stairs to the basement level we can see ministerial offices built in between the supporting columns of the Parliament House. These cater for some of the ministers and members of parliament needs.

That takes us to the end of the tour. I managed to grab a lot of leaflets, brochures, pamphlets, bookmarks, badges, fridge-magnet and even a chocolate coin for keepsake. What do I do with them now?

Friday, June 23, 2006

Mr Van Van

Everybody loves Fridays, YAY! I know I don't blog much about people so today I am going to introduce to you a friend of mine...

This is my friend but I don't know what his name is coz I've never asked. I call him Boss everytime I see him but I'll call him Mr. Van Van today. He came to Australia from Vietnam during the refugee years when he was a strapping young lad of 30 years.

This is his restaurant where Terese and I frequent regularly in Richmond. They serve delicious Vietnamese foods and friendly services. I'm not sure if he owns the shop but his daughter is the manager there and he takes orders from customers.

Mr. Van Van reminds me of my own dad who works in a similar job to his in Sibu back home. In Sibu people like to sit in kopitiam and bullshit all day. My dad used to do that too but at least now he gets to do what he enjoys! How many people enjoy their work nowadays, I know I don't that's why I like weekends so much! Have a good weekend people!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Here's Another Meme

I've got tagged by Abe to do this "I don't know what its called" meme but being a great sports that I am, I accept the tag so here's another chance for you to have a peek into my deepest darkest secrets!

1) 4 jobs I would stink at:
There's tons of jobs that I know I would definitely stink at doing but the top 4 would have to be;
-The President of The USA! Face it, I would be too trigger happy with my fingers on the launch button for the nuclear arsenals! Thank God the world is a safer place without me as the President!
-A commercial airline pilot because I would be too tempted to top gun the plane and do somersaults before landing hard and burning rubber on the runways!
-A sex worker coz I'll enjoy it too much and give too many freebies away to my clients and not make enough money for my pimp!
-A lawyer because I can't keep a straight face when I'm bull shitting in court!

2) 4 pretend nicknames I'm making up for myself:
Growing up as a quiet boy I've had my share of bullyings and name callings back in the bad old days so its only natural that I would give myself pretend names to feel good about myself like;
-Ajino because some people think Japanese or Japanese names or names that sound Japanese are cool so at least I can be seen to be cool to them too!
-Joseph so that at least these 'gweilo' can call me by a name that they can't get it wrong!
-Sith Lord Darth Wuching so I can have my revenge on the Jedi Knights!
-Wuching just so I can confuse people about my gender when I blog!

3) 4 movies I have watched over and over (and did not fall asleep):
There's not a lot of movies that I would watch over and over again. You would have to be a die hard fan of the movies or a really boring person, as for me I'm both! Let's make it 6 movies and the awards go to:
-Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
-Star Wars Episode II: Attack Of The Clones
-Star Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith
-Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
-Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
-Star Wars Episode VI: Return of The Jedi

4) 4 things I love to do on weekends:
Ahh..everybody looks forward to weekends, the days of the week when we get to do the things that we actually enjoy doing and not because we have to from Monday to Friday! And these are a few of my favourite things;
-Working in my backyard sowing, planting, pruning and digging till the sun goes down!
-Going to the movies and watching the films I like on the big silver screen with good quality surround sound system and not crappy picture in a box at home!
-Attending day activities be it festivals, markets or public events. Get to meet real people and breathe some fresh air after being cooped up at work or at home all week.
-Catching up with friends at dinner parties or just afternoon teas. And not thinking about work next week!

5) 4 alcoholic beverages I've enjoyed:
I'm not really into alcohol like some of my friends are, in fact I'm not even a social drinker! Whenever I drink I will become panda face so that gives you an idea how well I hold my drinks but I do occasionally enjoy a bit of;
-Bailey's Irish Cream with ice. Yum yum. Its like drinking fiery ice cream!
-A bit of Southern Comfort & coke is nice but I haven't had that for years!
-Queen Adelaide's sparkling wines is another one I enjoyed a while back but I think it was called something else which I can't remember.
-But of course nothing beats a nice cold beer...

6) 4 celebrities I would go on a Big Date with:
Come on, this is wishful thinking now...this is never ever going to happen to me in a million years but maybe in a parallel universe I might have a chance to go out with;
-Sweetest Sin
-MsLenglui (Hey! They are celebrities right? Blog celebrities!)

7) 4 things I could not live without (excluding the essential):
Apart from the essential things in life, we should all be able to live a perfectly healthy normal lives but because of greed we are all slaves to materialistic things we cannot do without! And I'm no saint either and these are my weaknesses:
-My trusty Sony Cybershot DSCP-10 digital camera which I take with me everywhere I go. It has become a part of me and I think I have grown roots joining to it so I cannot leave home without it now!
-My less than a year old Nokia 6030 mobile phone that is also my time keeper because I don't wear a watch anymore eversince my last watch died on me. I also use it to listen to the radio when I'm bored at work!
-My wallet stating the obvious coz eveything I need is in there, there's my money, my driving license, credit cards, massage parlour vouchers...
-My car! My ride, my transport, my hiho silver away! I'm so used to driving everywhere nowadays that I can never be able to use the public transport again and that's a good thing for the petrol companies but not good for me...

8) 4 of my favourite foods, whom I'd like to bon appetite with:
Everybody loves to eat, I've never come across anyone who tells me different so some of you may share my favourite foods;
-Mud Crab with Suituapui coz he's treating me to an all I can eat when I'm in Sibu, right Beautiful Mountain?
-Ming Kong's Prawn Noodle with Amelia coz she's paying! Hehe.
-Kolo Mee with QuaVadis and KampungNangkaBoy when I'm in Kuching.
-Sarawak Laksa with Laksa after the kolo mee!

9) 4 places I would rather be now:
There's so many places I would love to be right now but in no particular order are;
-Neverland so I'll never grow old.
-Fantasy Island so all my fantasies will come true.
-Wonderland to see the Wizard of Oz.
-Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory coz I'll never run out of chocolate!

10) 4 people I am tagging this meme:
So let's do unto others what others have done unto me and I am going to tag;
-Osama Bin Laden coz I'm sure he's got plenty of time to kill now that he's in hiding and memes are great time killer!
-Muammar Gaddafi because he's such a nice guy nowadays and nice people get to do my meme too!
-George W Bush for killing so many innocent people in Iraq.
-Mickey Mouse because we love you!

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

An Interview For A New Deputy Sheriff

The local sheriff was looking for a new deputy and a blonde went in for an interview. The sheriff asked her what one and one was. "Eleven," she replied. Not the answer he was thinking of, but it was right.

So he asked her the next question; "What two days of the week begin with the letter T?" "Today and tomorrow," she said. He was surprised that she had returned an answer that was correct but not one that he had thought of, so he continued with the interview.

"Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" he asked. The blonde thought about it for a while and admitted that she didn't know. "Well, why don't you go home and think about that for a while," the sheriff said.

So off she went to the beauty parlour where her best friend was waiting for her. "How did the interview go?" she asked the blonde. "Fantastic," she said. "First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case."

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Wuching!

Monkeys see, monkeys do so here goes...

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Wuching!

  1. The Vikings believed that the Northern lights were caused by wuching as he rode out to collect warriors slain in battle.
  2. Over half of Americans are officially wuching.
  3. Red wuching at night, shepherd's delight. Red wuching at morning, shepherd's warning.
  4. If you don't get out of bed on the same side you got in, you will have wuching for the rest of the day.
  5. You share your birthday with wuching.
  6. Only fifty-five percent of men wash their hands after using wuching.
  7. Koalas sleep for 22 hours a day, two hours more than wuching.
  8. The colour of wuching is no indication of his spiciness, but size usually is.
  9. Wuching will often glow under UV light.
  10. If you toss wuching 10000 times, he will not land heads 5000 times, but more like 4950, because his head weighs more and thus ends up on the bottom!
I am interested in - do tell me about

Sunday, June 18, 2006

The Sisterhood Of The Bloodsucking Fangs

Once upon a time in the land of Transmalaysia there were 3 sisters who were also bomoh or witches. But they were white witches and they helped people. The people of Transmalaysia lived happily from any evil demons and vampires for the 3 witches were powerful enough to repel any evils that may fall on the land.

The eldest sister was Pru Amelia followed by Piper Weila and Phoebe Che-cheh. They were called the Charmed Ones but little did they knew that this would also bring about their downfall for the word 'charm' in chinese also has a bad omen...

Their nemesis came in the form of Count Dracuching who was a powerful vampire who also liked to count. He was able to seduce and turned the 3 sisters into vampires and subsequently his brides too! Pru became Aleera Amelia, Piper became Marishka Weila and Phoebe became Verona Che-cheh.

And from then on evil has fallen on the land of Transmalaysia and people started dying everyday as the 3 vampire sisters terrorised the people and fed on their blood as they slept at nights!

But luckily for the people of Transmalaysia help was on the way! KampungNangkaBoy Van Helsing and the beautiful Yvy Anna Valerious had come to save the day! They had come to destroy Count Dracuching and his brides!

But it was not easy for they were cunning, bloodthirsty and hard to kill for they were already dead! How can you kill something that is already dead? And in the process of hunting down the vampires, Van Helsing lost Yvy Anna to the blood suckers...

KNB Van Helsing realised that he had to come up with a better solution since he's fighting a losing battle here. And he did! He managed to convince to 3 vampire sisters to put to better use their good looks and talents and leave the Count and go into...

...Show Business! They were very popular and shot to fame overnight! Wealth and fame follow them wherever they go. Thus KNB Van Helsing became their manager and gave up vampire hunting to start pimping the 3 sisters!

Meanwhile with his brides gone, Count Dracuching soon lost popularity and nobody was interested in some sucker counting numbers. The last we heard of him was he went to some kiasuland and worked as a tally counting cars by the road side for JKR...

The End.

Friday, June 16, 2006

What Price Is Art?

The City of Melbourne paid around A$150,000.00 for a bunch of sticks below at Federation Square.

This is the work of an artist who wanted to paint the trees blue last year but was stopped by the people of Melbourne for wasting public money. Some people say you can't put a price on art and Melbourne City is going art crazy and wasting money on it. City Councillors...too much money to waste? Our money...

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Wuching's Angels

The most anticipated remake of the 70's baddest and hottest private investigators is finally here! Ladies and gentlemen, especially you gentlemen out there...I present to you Wuching's Angels!

Once upon a time there were 3 very different little girls...who grew up to be 3 very different women...but they have 3 things in common...they're bright...they're beautiful....and they work for name is Wuching.

First up we have Jill Weila Munroe who is a drop dead gorgeous blonde who's in every man's fantasy and dream and she's knows it and flaunting it!

Jill: "I'm just too sexy and beautiful, I was married to Lee Major once but I had to dump him coz why should I limit myself to 1 man only with a body like this!"

Next we have Kelly Amelia Garrett who's street wise as well as intelligent. Oh did I mention pretty as well but Jill said too bad she's a brunette!

Kelly: "That Jill is such a slut! Everyone knows I'm prettier than her and I suspect that's not even her natural colour!"

And last but not least is Sabrina Che-cheh Duncan who seems to be the leader of the pack because of her leadership and 'take charge' attitude.

Sabrina: "God! I wish those 2 bimbos would shut up already! How did they even get this job I wonder? Can't be their skills and talents I'm sure of it coz everyone knows I'm the clever one but no one seems to want me as their centerfolds.."

For the rest of the story you will watch them in black & white for nostalgic reason when RTM used to broadcast the 70's version because colour televison was a few more years to go!

And looking after these girls is my trusted assistant Boseley Suituapui who was willing to do this job for free! Ahh...such loyalty from my employee.

Wuching: "Good morning Angels!"
Angels: "Good morning Wuching!" (giggle giggle..)
Wuching: "Today I have your first assignment but you need to go undercover in the women's prison to gather information to the whereabout of the notorious villain QuaVadis."

So the girls had to fake a traffic offence just so the cop would arrest them and put them in the women's prison.

Cop: "You're all under arrest ladies..ooh, chicky babes!"
Angels: "Oh dear officer, we'll be good and come along with you.."

Inside the women's prison the angels were briefed by the lesbian warden about their days in prison and to behave and do exactly what she tells them to do. Exactly! "Muahahahaha.." laughs the warden.

So the girls had to succumb to prison lifes and prison sex for 3 weeks before they finally got their information to QuaVadis' whereabout! Now they have to figure out a way to get out and find QuaVadis! They decided to breakout and it was a breeze coz it was a minimum security prison and they've made very very good friends with the warden!

Once they were free they contacted Boseley Suituapui and together they hunt down QuaVadis to his yacht in the Sarawak river. He was sleeping on deck when they finally got him cornered, not even needing to fire a single shot...well, maybe QuaVadis shot once in his pant when he saw the angels!

Job well done Angels! If only you girls would catfight each other less then I'm sure I will have more assignments for you in the near future but for now lets have one last camwhore for all the men to oggle, fantasize and be alone for a minute or two in the toilets...